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Working with conflict

Working with conflict

This is what high conflict family breakdown feels like...

  • Feeling panic when you see their name flash up in your inbox
  •  Dreading angry or manipulative phone calls that keep coming
  • Bitter and aggressive communication that heaps criticism, anger, pain and humiliation on top of everything else you are coping with right now
  • Feeling waves of anxiety as you see the legal bills pile up, while you appear to make no progress
  • The threat (or reality) of making arrangements for your children through the family courts
  •  Miserable, frightening or distressing handovers of your shared children week after week
  • Finally realizing that the freedom you imagined you would enjoy once you escaped your relationship was an illusion, that your abuser continues to hurt you through your shared children… potentially for years to come

The reality is that not all divorce or separation can be amicable.

Not all parents can or even should aim to co-parent together. For some couples the best outcome is to sever as many ties as they possibly can – as completely as they can. But this is rarely talked about or understood. Let’s get it out into the open.

If this is your story, you’re not alone. We can still work towards a beautiful life for you and your children. But it’s not going to look like divorces you might have seen or heard about before.

Conflict and Abuse do not get fixed with wishful thinking. Work with me and you’ll:

  • Feel safe, seen and heard
  • Be listened to without judgment
  • Fully release your shame, blame and fear
  • Feel comfortable to share your reality so we can sort it out effectively
  • Build a team around your family who will work together to move you forward
  • Discovery co-parenting tools and strategies that will work for you for the long term no matter how desperate the situation appears

There is hope, but we find it first by being honest about what’s happening right now while it’s hard.

High Conflict separation is not only emotionally draining, it can be financially draining too.

If you are navigating a divorce or separation that feels like a battlefield I can support you to make progress, towards a life that protects and supports you and your children from further hurt. First, we will need to focus your efforts in places they will make the biggest impact. Protect your energy, your resources and your time.

Embark upon Family Vision with me and we will work together towards building your expert team. Me as your Coach, in partnership with respected colleagues who are also experts in their field.

In my little black book are a number of wonderful professionals who excel at their jobs - including experienced family lawyers who can protect you from abuse and manage conflict, Divorce Alchemist Emma Heptonstall (who coaches and supports Ladies Who Leave high conflict relationships) and a wide network of therapists, professional family mediators and lifestyle coaches. If any of these colleagues are a good fit for your situation I’ll make a referral to connect you without delay.

Message me direct at [email protected] if you would like to book a call to discuss your own situation. I offer free 30 minute calls to anyone looking for help to understand if they are experiencing abuse, and will connect you to your local Domestic Abuse agency if required for free.




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