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Breaking the Cycle: What I learned from the first time I stayed

Last week a client asked me the question so many victims of domestic abuse want to know the answer to - “This has already happened to me once. How do I stop it from happening again?”
 
I remember wanting to know the answer to that myself, when I clawed my way back from the devastation of a psychologically, emotionally, sexually and financially abusive relationship. How could I spot a guy like that coming next time? How could I learn about the red flags of an abuser so I wouldn’t be blindsided again?
 
What do I need to know to keep myself safe?
 
This article is my answer to her.
 
This is the story of the first time I stayed, and how what I learned from that experience has taught me how to leave.
 
I learned something incredibly powerful about the patterns of relationships that become abusive, and it isn’t about the patterns of abusive men.
 
Time after time I meet women who stay with abusive partners, and together we confront...
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