About ten days ago I was Highly Commended in a National Business Awards ceremony. My category, 'Established Star' was for Mums in business for more than 4 years who have made a significant impact and who are successfully bringing their magic into the world.
It's amazing! I am humbled, proud, emotional. I feel incredibly moved that my journey from brand new single Mum, with just determination and an idea about how to support my own kids, has grown into an international movement. I'm helping to change the conversation about parenting alone with #IamTheParentWhoStayed What an achievement! What a ride... What a buzz!
So... here's the rub. I'm also struggling to claim it.
This is something that I want to share with you about success and progress because it's part of #mystory and I bet if you are a woman with lived experiences like mine, it could be part of your story too.
Claiming our greatness is hard. It's hard to take up space, to step onto the stage and joyfully say 'I am here' - without apology, without shame, without fear.
Don't get me wrong, I am way more than halfway there these days. I was positively ecstatic when I walked up onto that stage. You can see the huge grin on my face when I was given my beautiful sparkly certificate by Ruth Oshikanlu and cheered on by the incredible Nicola Heulin (my mentor, guide and all round Badass Business Heroine) and Rhiannon Spurgeon, my business bestie and all round #RideOrDie. I stepped up there totally buzzing and joyful.
But at home, with my winners Buzzpack and the invitation to share the news with the world, I come face to face with the inner work still to be done. The #WhoDoesSheThinkSheIs gremlin. The inner critic, mean voice bitch that silences my greatness has had a chance to get to work.
Stepping into greatness is so often nothing to do with our outer work, but our inner work.
The willingness to be seen, to claim our space and live a BIG life is not about what is on offer out there, it's about what we can handle *in here*.
On the inside, moving on from abuse, from lack, from fear, from shame takes patience, love and gratitude for the ongoing journey. I am here. I am proud. I am achieving. I am an Established Star (Hooray!) weaving magic as I go into the world, sharing my gifts, skills, talents and hope with women just like me.
I am also an Established Star weaving magic with my hesitant heart, my sometimes wobbly self-worth, with the ebb and flow of my confidence.
So are YOU.
You don't have to be 100% ok to be doing great. You don't have to be totally ready for greatness to own it either. And whether you are recognised in the world yet or not, whether you believe in yourself yet or not, whether you think you deserve it yet or not - you are a STAR in your own world.
You are the light of your children's lives.
You are loved, you are worthy and you are enough.
You are perfectly expressing yourself where you are meant to be today.
When the world gives you evidence of growth and your inner reaction is to ask yourself what still needs to be done to deserve it...
What hurt is still in need of healing?
What love can you show yourself today?
What do you need to be welcome, exactly as you are?
In deep gratitude I recognise and appreciate the gift of being celebrated for my work in the world. I'd love to give you the gift of being recognised and appreciated for who you are in the world too Mama - so please know, you are wonderful.
Just as you are.
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