My journey to parenting alone was a slow process. After a long period of feeling stuck, unhappy and unfulfilled, I ended my 19 year relationship. I felt we had become dysfunctional as a couple, and could no longer work as a healthy family together. To cope with the shift to being a single Mum, I became completely absorbed in self care practices.
Self-care really helped me to cope with the stresses that accompanied the changes at home. Still, like anyone navigating such a big change, I had good days and bad days. There were days it felt wonderful. And others days I questioned what on earth I was doing, how would I cope longer term, had I fucked up my kids? How was I going support us… those days felt scary and overwhelming.
My decision to join Family Vision came after I had been parenting alone for two and half years. I was ready to leave the past behind me and turn my attention fully towards building a bright future for me and my kids. I like Nina’s no BS style and her caring, down to earth way - I felt safe with her. It was important to me that I could speak my mind about my ups and my downs, honestly and openly, with someone who I felt could really understand and who cared.
Having made the commitment to join a group, it wasn’t always easy to keep going. I have three children and a business to run, my kids are young but don’t always go to bed on time… There were times when I struggled to show up to the calls and I worried about connecting the dots if I missed part of the process with my group.
But Nina made it easy to stay up to date and I felt really included in the group. Knowing we were all parenting alone, overcoming the various challenges, juggling our children’s needs and all our various demands on our lives helped me to see that it was ok to let go of perfectionism. I loved connecting with the other women in my group. I felt part of something bigger than me, recognising that we are all living our different stories and all trying our best to make it work.
Seeing how other mothers run their homes, live up to their potential, step into their responsibilities as parents but still find time for fun and connection and learning – this insight was priceless to me. Having the group to check in with each week gave me perspective and a sense of calm and community. We were there fore each other, to listen to, be heard and supported.
The energy of the group was safe and grounded. As a result of being part of Family Vision I gained a great deal of clarity about what I want to change in my life. I was able to identify where I could make positive changes, and felt supported to actually begin to take steps in that direction. The time to think about where I am going as a mother and how I am moving my family forward was invaluable. It’s so hard to make that time for yourself on your own, but time for myself is just what was missing from my life.
Family Vision helped me to keep the bigger picture for our future in mind. To remember why I made a choice to parent alone after such a long relationship. To really connect with the gifts that come from choosing to take a risk on all our happiness. I feel more courageous, more purposeful and more confident today than ever before. Six months on we have more structure and routine in our home and I'm can honestly say I feel much happier at being the adult in charge! I have let go of my fear and embraced the possibilities instead.
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